Are you tired of waiting for the perfect moment to start your weight loss journey? Join us on "Weight Loss Made Simple" as we delve into the concept of arrival mentality and its impact on your path to success. In this episode, we'll uncover how arrival mentality can hold you back from reaching your goals and share practical strategies to shift your mindset towards present-focused action. Discover the keys to breaking free from the cycle of waiting for the perfect moment and learn how to embrace small victories along the way. Tune in to empower yourself with actionable tips for mindful planning and sustainable weight loss. Don't miss out on this insightful discussion – press play now to transform your weight loss journey!
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Thank you for joining me today. I wanted to talk about a problem around false thoughts. These thought errors that we have and the thought error I want to talk about today is arrival mentality so I think this is important because I find that when we are overweight, we have attend to not only blame everything that’s wrong in our lives on the fact that we’re overweight, but then we have this idea that when the scale changes it’s like everything is magically going to be better OK so it’s just idea that I’m going to step on the scale my goal weight is going to flash up before me and then like balloons and flowers and unicorns and McMahon with the publishers clearing house big check, and everything in our lives is going to be different all those things that were wrong or bad or we didn’t like that we blamed on being overweight, or somehow magically go away and that’s not true so we need to talk about it so arrival mentality is this idea that when I reach some point in the future, I will then be happy when I have something in the future I will be happy. I will tell you personally for my doctors that are listening. This happens a lot in our profession and I’ll sort of walk you through it so we get really good grades in high school so we can get into the quote right college then we study so hard to get into medical school medical school and we think it’s going to be better right so hard in college like we just get to medical school all our answers are there, right everything will be great. Then we get to medical school and realized it is like a punch in the face every day and it’s impossible to get all the information and feeling totally overwhelmed and for first and second year we kind of do this a little bit right the first year is anatomy and it’s all the like if I can just get the second year second year will be better and we get second year and realize, it’s just as bad if not worse if I just get to third year will be better because I’ll finally get to be with patients and I’ll be on the wards and it’ll be great and third year and realize that’s a kick in the pants and maybe we don’t like didactic style learning, and being pimped by residence and staff or maybe a little scared of the patients we’re not very practiced yet so third year ends up not being what we thought it was going to be and they were like oh just get to fourth year if I just passed my exam if I just do this if I when I become an attending, it’ll be better than if anyone remembers our first week as an attending it’s like horrible right cause there’s no one to bounce ideas off of like the buck end with you and so being attending that awesome and so there are so many data points of evidence that show us that arrival mentality is just such false thinking if we are running through our lives right now, overweight and blaming all of our problems on that and thinking oh well, I’ll go on that vacation when I lose weight because then I’ll feel comfortable in a bathing suit. It’s just not true if we are not able to flip the script on some of this negative self talk along the way while we’re losing weight, we are still going to be talking to ourselves just as bad at our goal weight as we are now, and I remember doing this I had gotten to go away at one point in my past many years ago, beating myself up like such severe food restriction exercising like a crazy person. I was running all the time was doing all these things and I got to go away and I remember instead of being excited when I saw that number on the scale I was like I was so scared I was truly frightened that I wouldn’t be able to stay there. It’s because nothing changed my mindset about my body my mindset about how hard losing weight was my mindset about the things in my life. This will be better when I wasn’t true, nothing was different except the number on the scale so I need you to hear me. This is important. We have to start making the changes to build the life we want, now while we’re losing weight and then if we are able to do those things when we get to go away, it will feel better because we feel better no matter what the scale says we will have taken these steps to feel better no matter what the scale says so then, when the scale says what we think, we wanted to say, we will feel better, but it literally has nothing to do with the scale you know we don’t want to get there if we have an idea of a wait, we want to get you? Yes let’s go for it. I’m trying to simplify how we get there so that it doesn’t feel so stressful or hard or time-consuming but we have to change the way we think about there on the way there or there is not going to be all we want it to be. I think this concept is why our minds are a little blown when beautiful movie stars have problems, right because we and our heads have built up that when we are thin, the world is different for us. We have built in our mind that when we are thin and rich like nothing can go wrong so they must be happy so when something bad happens or one of these celebrities is unhappy, it’s kind of a little cognitive dissonance like wait a minute she supposed to feel great all the time and be happy all the time she’s got a beautiful body and she’s rich can’t possibly but happiness does not come from the number on the scale. Happiness does not come from the number in our bank account happiness does not come from the size of our clothes. Happiness is a feeling it comes from our thoughts. OK, the number on the scale the number on the in our bank account they don’t cause joy, happiness, or success, so I think it would be an amazing. I think it would be an amazing practice. If you started noticing what you were holding yourself back from waiting until the number on the scale changes and what you think will be different when the number on the scale changes, and write all of those things down right so my husband and I was dating which I feel you I see you if you’re out there dating it’s not always easy right and I wasn’t at the way I wanted to be in retrospect it was fine I was perfectly fine weight but I did not like myself at that way, and I had a lot of negative self so when I was dating I was not manifesting the people that I needed to be manifesting. They were always not the best people and anytime I would see a red flag in that relationship or any relationship with and I would be sad. I always blame it on my weight always hundred percent of the time, if that happened they would’ve liked me more. It’s all such garbage this negative self talk that our brain feeds us when we are overweight is just absolute garbage. This word in my family like worse than flood right it’s disgusting cause it’s not true at all our weight has nothing to do with us as a person has nothing to do with anything, except that it is like an easy it’s like a bully having an easy mean joke, right it’s like our brain on tended an unintended brain tends to be very negative in our untended brain our weight because it’s easy because there’s lots of messaging that are we are wrong in our body is wrong if we’re not thin if we’re not thin right we know this for society changing but not that quickly. OK so a lot of messaging that we are wrong. Our bodies are wrong. We are bad if we
are not thin, so our brain is like this bully with an easy target, so anything that it doesn’t like or perceives is wrong or bad or dangerous we’re going to kicked out of the tribe or whatever, it blames our weight so when we are when we are managing, not managing our mind are going to come that it will magically be better if we were thin the other side of that sandwich shit sandwich by the way, we quit eating those from ourselves we have to eat enough other people OK so you are going to start hearing now that I’ve told you about it and made you aware and I want you to know that’s not a problem but we can change it. Stop bullying yourself stop telling yourself that all the worlds problems are because you weigh 5 10 20,50 100 extra pounds it’s not true so whatever you think is magically going to happen when you go away however you think you’re going to feel we can start manifesting those feelings now so I think I am going to be confident at my goal weight I can understand the confidence is a feeling and I can work backwards and figure out what thoughts I need to think to feel confident now and then my bully brain is going to tell me all the things that go against those thoughts and that’s where the work is that’s where I can make profound change, and how I think about myself how I show up and the choices I make for my food and my Wellness I’m telling myself all day long that my life is wrong, and I am wrong because the scale says I’m probably not going to be real motivated to take care of myself, but if I can start doing that and telling myself all the reasons I’m right, start thinking thoughts to build confidence start thinking the thoughts to love myself more start thinking the thoughts to love my body more now no matter what the scale says those things are going to help me take better care of myself they’re going to help me lose weight they’re going to change my life, no matter what the scale says I will feel better. I will feel happy out, feel confident I will have more body acceptance, no matter what the scale says, and isn’t that better when that just be a nicer way to wake up in the morning, feeling good about ourselves getting dressed without pointing out every single thing that’s wrong with us in the mirror I think so all right I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode start listening to your thoughts we can change them. That’s where our power is not a big deal. OK it’s not going to be better than there. We can make it better right now. All right see you next week. Bye.