75. Handling Weight Comments with Confidence: Setting Boundaries and Self-Regulation

In this episode, Dr. Stacy Heimburger dives into a topic that many of us struggle with: how to handle comments about our weight—whether they’re compliments or critiques. From “You’ve lost weight, you look amazing!” to “Are you sure you’re eating enough?” Dr. Heimburger offers practical strategies to respond with confidence and emotional balance. Learn how to self-regulate your reactions, set healthy boundaries, and protect your mental well-being. Whether the comment is positive or negative, you’ll walk away with tools to maintain control over how you feel and respond. Tune in to discover how to assert your boundaries, keep your emotional peace, and stay true to your health journey.

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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com.

Transcript

Hey there, everybody! Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for joining me today.

I want to dive into a topic that builds on last week’s discussion about emotional resilience and weight-related comments. Today, we’re going to talk about handling any comment about our weight—whether positive or negative—because, let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.

Someone makes a comment about your body or weight, and suddenly, a surge of emotions hits. That reaction comes from the thoughts we have about what they said, and those thoughts create our feelings. This applies to both compliments and criticisms. The fact that these comments are often unsolicited is usually what makes them so triggering.

If I ask someone how I look in an outfit, I’m mentally prepared for a response. But when a comment comes out of nowhere, it can feel jarring. Even though I coach myself and others on this topic, I still experience that initial flush of emotions when someone makes an unexpected remark. People comment on both weight gain and weight loss. For example, someone might say, "Wow, you’ve lost weight! You look great!" or "You’ve lost too much weight. Are you eating enough? Are you okay?" Both comments, whether positive or concerned, can stir up emotions. So, let’s talk about how to handle them with confidence and mindfulness.

Most of the time, people don’t intend to be hurtful. If they know you’re working on weight loss, they might assume their comment is supportive. Society is obsessed with weight, and people often feel it’s acceptable to discuss it. They might think they’re acknowledging your hard work or offering encouragement. However, even when meant as a compliment, these comments can feel intrusive.

For me, when I was losing weight, people would often say, "Don’t you feel better?" But in reality, I felt the same. My body was smaller, but I had been working on my mindset and self-worth all along. My worthiness didn’t change with my weight. So when people assumed my happiness was tied to my body size, it felt off-putting.

Whether a comment is meant as a compliment or a concern, we need to self-regulate our responses. First, take a deep breath and acknowledge your emotions. If a comment triggers you, recognize that your reaction is caused by your thoughts about what was said. Second, consider the intention behind the comment. Most people aren’t trying to be insulting; they genuinely think they’re being kind. If we can see their intention as positive, we can choose to let go of any emotional charge.

Third, reflect on why the comment made you uncomfortable. If you frequently feel uneasy about weight-related remarks, take some time later to process your emotions. Ask yourself: why does this bother me? What am I thinking about this comment that’s making me feel this way? For me, I eventually realized my discomfort came from societal conditioning—that weight loss should equal happiness, which I didn’t personally believe.

Fourth, set an internal boundary. Decide in advance how much you’re comfortable sharing about your weight loss. Some people genuinely want to learn from you and might ask how you did it. If you don’t want to discuss it, that’s okay! Establish your boundary beforehand so you’re prepared.

Once you’ve determined your personal boundary, it helps to have a few responses ready. You can deflect graciously by saying something like, "Thanks for noticing, but I’m not really discussing my weight right now," or simply, "I appreciate the support!" If you want to acknowledge the comment without oversharing, you can say, "Thanks! I’ve been making some changes," or "I’m working on what feels right for me." If you need to set a firm boundary, you can respond with, "I prefer not to discuss my weight," or "I appreciate your concern, but I don’t really talk about my body."

If you want to share your journey, that’s totally fine too! The key is deciding in advance how much you want to disclose so you’re not caught off guard. Having pre-planned responses makes it easier to navigate these situations without feeling flustered. Think of it as a mental role-play—if you know what you want to say ahead of time, you’re less likely to be caught off guard. For me, when people said, "You must feel better now!" my go-to response was: "I feel the same. I’ve been working on my mindset all along." This allowed me to acknowledge the comment while staying true to my beliefs.

Weight comments—positive or negative—do not determine our worth. If weight-related comments make you feel good—great! No action is needed. But if they make you uncomfortable, doing this work can help you feel more at ease and in control.

I hope this episode helps you handle weight comments with more confidence and ease. If this resonated with you, let me know! Reach out on social media and share your thoughts. Until next time—bye!