77. The Importance of Self-Care in Caregiving Professions: How to Be Intentional About Caring for Yourself

In this episode, Dr. Stacy Heimburger dives deep into the importance of self-care for those in caregiving professions, particularly healthcare workers. Dr. Heimburger shares valuable insights on why self-care often takes a backseat and provides actionable tips to be more intentional about caring for yourself. Learn how to identify your non-negotiable self-care actions, build small habits, and prioritize your well-being amidst the demands of caring for others. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, or caregiver of any kind, this episode will help you create sustainable self-care routines that nurture your body and mind.

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Transcript

Welcome back to the podcast, everybody! This is Dr. Stacy Heimburger, SugarFree MD, and this is Episode 77. Today, I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been coming up with a few of my clients over the last couple of weeks, and that’s this idea of intentionally planning self-care. I’ve been coaching long enough now that when things start coming up, I like to figure out why they’re coming up. Why is it so necessary for us to be so intentional about self-care? Because I don’t know that everyone has to be. I think I see other people in my life for whom it comes a little bit more naturally to take time for themselves. My husband is actually great about it. He’ll come home and just take those couple of minutes to himself.

For me, though, it takes a lot more intentionality, a lot more thought processing, and more brain effort to put some of those same systems in place. I know it’s the same way for my clients. I can tell from talking to them that it’s just not easy. It’s not second nature. So, it really made me start to think about why this is. I have a hypothesis. A lot of my clients are doctors or work in healthcare, and I think this might be a contributing factor. I did a recent session about identity, and when we identify as caregivers—like most people in healthcare do—we use that filter to navigate the world.

When we identify ourselves as caregivers, we unintentionally seek out people who need help. Follow me on this: if my filter is always that my purpose in life is to help people, my brain is constantly scanning for those who need help. And then, my job is to help them. I’ve absorbed that as part of my identity—my identity as someone who helps, who looks for people in need, and then steps in to help. Sometimes, this can be thought of as people-pleasing, but I think for people in healthcare—or for those who identify themselves as helpers—this goes a little bit further. It’s not just about pleasing others; it’s that our brains are wired to seek out people who need help, and it feels very natural and easy to step in and assist them.

But when we reverse the mirror and look at ourselves, it’s not as easy to identify that we need help, and it doesn’t come as naturally to help ourselves. Healthcare workers, y’all are amazing. It’s not easy work, and there are a lot of demands. Systemically, as we go through training, we’re not encouraged to take care of ourselves at all. You're not even supposed to go to the bathroom if you're in the middle of a round. We don’t take care of our basic needs like eating or going to the bathroom because patients come first. Helping others comes first.

We may have had that natural tendency to want to help people growing up, but once we enter medical school, residency, and beyond, it’s amplified and programmed into us that our needs come second. We are to take care of everyone else first, and when that’s all tidied up and everyone is happy—tucked in, as we like to say—then, maybe, we can take care of ourselves.

I think this is really contributing to the problem in healthcare right now. There’s a staffing problem, and I think this is part of it. Our capacity to put ourselves last has increased. Before we had a family, before we had a second job, and before we had more things in our lives, we might have been able to tolerate it. But as we have more demands on ourselves—more people besides patients needing us or whom we perceive need us—the idea of taking care of ourselves becomes even more important. I do think we have to be intentional about it. It's like learning anything new. Our brains just aren’t going to make this a default, automatic habit. It's going to take some mental energy to put self-care systems in place.

Self-care matters. It’s natural in our positions to not prioritize it, but I think it’s more necessary than ever for us to make that switch—to prioritize our own self-care. Our jobs and roles demand a huge amount of mental bandwidth. It’s stretched constantly, and it can get pretty overwhelming. I know for myself, and I know this has happened with clients, too. We’re all balancing a million things—work, family, home life—and it’s like the lady spinning the plates on the unicycle. We keep everything up in the air, doing okay, but then if one extra thing is added in, it’s like the whole system comes crashing down.

I used to think I was just feeling overwhelmed when it was really just one extra thing—like planning a kid's birthday party—that pushed me over the edge. I had all the plates spinning: work, home, extra work. But that extra task was too much, and it shouldn’t be that way. We need to have a little more bandwidth, and not taking care of ourselves is a very common pattern. You’re not alone in this.

This leads to fatigue, stress, and burnout. When we become burned out and mentally exhausted, we start to emotionally detach. We become physically fatigued, and that all hinders our ability to take care of anyone—not just ourselves, but also the people closest to us. Self-care can be powerful because it serves as a reset. And when I say self-care, I’m not necessarily talking about bubble baths, although a bath is lovely. Or a massage on the one day off every three months, although a massage is also lovely and should be enjoyed. But let me ask you—how many of you very rarely get a day off? Instead of taking that time for yourself, are you using it to catch up on everything the family needs?

I’m guilty of this, too, but we have to start building in daily self-care so that when we do get a rare day off, it doesn’t all come crashing down. When I talk about intentional self-care, I mean that it doesn’t come naturally. So when I say intentional, I want you to understand that it’s going to take some mental energy. It’s not something that’s going to feel easy. You’ll have to put some effort into establishing these habits.

And it can be as simple as just getting enough sleep, improving our sleep, exercising, and eating nutritious food. These are the basics of lifestyle medicine—sleep, exercise, nutritious food. These should be your non-negotiables for self-care. Forget the mindfulness part of maybe taking five minutes for deep breathing or meditating or getting that massage. Let’s start with the basics.

The first thing I want you to do is think about what your baseline self-care is. What is your non-negotiable action that you can do every day? For me, that’s meal planning. I have to know what’s for dinner because I know how my day will inevitably go. I always overestimate what I can get done and underestimate the hours I have. So, I have to plan dinners, preferably for the week. Meal planning is my biggest form of self-care and an absolute non-negotiable for me. I also like to walk at least a few minutes a day. I need to be outside, and that’s non-negotiable. My sleep is also important—I’m very clear about it. If I’m tired, I’ll just go to bed, no matter what’s happening around me.

Whether it’s journaling for two minutes during the day or walking a little, I’m not talking about going from zero to a two-hour gym session every day. It’s about taking small steps. It can be as simple as three minutes of deep breathing. Maybe before you start your clinic or meeting, you close your eyes, put your phone on do not disturb, and just breathe deeply. Maybe it’s as simple as that.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. I’ve heard of one of my friends putting on her headphones, pretending she’s on a call, just to have some alone time. Sometimes, you need those moments of quiet. Maybe you journal a little. If you’re going to journal, put a journal wherever you are—by your bed, by the TV, in the kitchen. Whatever helps you make it easier. Write one thing you're grateful for, or reflect on one cool thing that happened during your day.

Start small, like meal planning and prioritizing sleep. Can we work on our evening routine? After your long day, when you finally get the kids to bed, don’t jump into doom-scrolling or Netflix. Try to get to bed earlier on one night during the week. I tried this with a client—pick one day and just go straight to bed after you put the kids to bed. Skip the TV, just go to bed. Try it and see how you feel. A little more rest will help, trust me.

Small pieces of joy—can you go for a quick walk? Can you just go outside and soak in some sunshine for a few minutes? Vitamin D consistency is really important. Scheduling these small acts of self-care is essential. Maybe you need to schedule a massage or even a 10-minute stretch break if a weekly massage isn’t feasible. It’s all about consistency.

Build a support system. This is hard, so having a friend or accountability partner can really help. When we’re constantly caring for others, it’s hard to care for ourselves because that’s not what our brain is wired to do. We’re programmed to help everyone else first.

So, if you're listening today and thinking, “It’s okay. I’m just naturally a helper,” that’s fine. But going forward, it’s going to take some mental energy to make self-care a priority. Start small. If you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of others effectively.

Think about what your best friend would tell you to do if she was feeling burnt out. Now, do that for yourself. It’s time to make self-care a priority.

I hope you’ve taken something away from this episode and are ready to make one small change. I’d love to hear your favorite self-care strategies. Email me or tag me on Instagram at SugarFreeMD. I’d love to help others like you with ideas on how to take better care of ourselves.

Until next week, take care and prioritize yourself. Bye!