148. Finding Space for Me

You finally made time for the walk.

But did you actually take the walk—or did you spend thirty minutes answering calls, replaying yesterday, planning tomorrow, and solving everybody else's problems?

This month we've been talking about creating space for ourselves and our health. In this episode, Dr. Stacy takes that idea one step deeper: making the time is only half of it.

Because you can be physically present and mentally somewhere else entirely.

We're talking about the endless “browser tabs” running in our brains, decision fatigue, why healthy habits can still feel exhausting even when they're technically happening, and what changes when you allow your brain to actually be present during the time you've protected.

Dr. Stacy also shares where she's working on this herself—especially her tendency to build schedules with absolutely no margin for “life to life”—and some of the simple ways she creates moments of presence through coffee outside, watering plants, walking without headphones, and putting the phone away.

This isn't another thing to add to your to-do list.

It's an invitation to actually experience some of the time you've worked so hard to create.

And if this month's conversations about space have resonated with you, we're doing the deeper work around these ideas inside the SugarFreeMD membership. www.sugarfreemd.com/LSM

Free 2-Pound Plan Call!
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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com.

Transcript

Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. This is Dr. Stacy Heimburger, and this is Weight Loss Made Simple. We're going to finish round out sort of our space August episodes here by talking about finding more space for ourselves. All right. Healthy habits don't just require time, okay, but they require some space as well. Not empty calendars or fewer responsibilities, but mental and emotional space. And so that's the kind of space that kind of lets you live inside your life instead of constantly running ahead of it. So it's a little bit about being present. But I want to ask you, let's see how you feel about this. When is the last time you actually finished a cup of coffee while it was still hot without checking your phone. without mentally planning dinner or writing tomorrow's to-do list in your head? When was the last time you took a walk without listening to a podcast? Like, did you actually notice where you were? Did you see the trees? Did you notice your breathing? Or were you catching up on phone calls? Or solving someone else's problems or listening to a book, or my favorite, listening to journal articles. When was the last time you sat at a kid's practice and actually just watched them practice or watch their game without any distractions, without answering texts, or thinking what was going to happen after practice, or planning tomorrow. Just watching.

I think when is the last time you felt truly present with what you were doing? I think this is something that a lot of us struggle with because we are trying to do. And so we're trying to multitask. And so we keep telling ourselves we need more time, but I don't think that's the whole story. I think what we're missing is this idea of space, of this.

You know, we've talked about sort of calendaring and doing other types of space exercises this month, but I'm talking about like the mental and emotional space to just be. Okay. So I'm not really talking about free time, although having free time would be amazing too. We can have 30 minutes free, but

Never actually experience them or get the benefit of having that 30 minutes free, right? So we can sit on the beach and not really relax because we're answering work emails. We can go on vacation, right? So we can have the calendared vacation, but if we're working during it or planning the next vacation or planning the next day or worried about what everyone else needs, we're not really on vacation, right? So we can sit for dinner without really tasting dinner, right? So our body can be present, but is our mind present? Are we actually creating space for our brain to take a break? Right. So

Healthy habits require a little more than time, right? So we've been working about finding time and like making sure we make time, like we're the priority and we're making time. But we also need to pay attention during that time. All right. We need to be present. We need to have some mental availability, free space. during the day, all right, during these activities. Because think about it. If you know, we can schedule a walk, but if during that walk we are answering phone calls, solving other people's problems, spending the time replaying everything that we didn't do yesterday and tomorrow's to-do list and all of those things, technically we walked, but we didn't really get all the benefits of it. We didn't get

The health benefits fully from that. We can eat the healthy meal, but if we're not really experiencing the meal, if we're not taking it in, if we're not being mindful, if we're not like paying attention to our hunger and doing all those things, if we're like eating that meal standing over the sink answering emails, like it's not the same, right? We can play with our kids.

But if we're like running through to-do lists while we're doing it and we're not like fully present with them, like we're not really using that time to the best of our ability. We can be physically present, but mentally a lot of times we're not. We're somewhere else. All right. And I catch myself doing this more than I care to admit. Right. Like I have definitely sat at a practice and not watched practice at all. Like I've been like

Think of something I need to do, and I've like been on Claude searching through my emails and answering emails and doing all these things and not at all paying attention. Right. I may be smiling, cheering, right? Like picking my head up for a second. But inside my head, I'm not there. Right. And last time I'm thinking of the last time I did this specifically, my kid knew. Right. Like he totally called me out on it. that I was looking at my phone and not watching him, right?

Making time to physically be present is only half of it. Okay. I think our brain becomes like internet browser windows and there's like so many tabs open. And if you could see what my internet browser looks like, I am the worst at having like a ton of browsers open. And so it actually makes sense that my brain would be like that as well. But we've got all of these tabs open all the time, like school, work. you know, my parent, like my mom that I'm taking care of, meal planning, laundry, emails, like all the things. Whose birthday's coming up? Like, did I send a card? We have all these internet browsers open. And so

When we block time and make health a priority, but we have all these tabs open and we're mentally not engaged, we are not getting the full benefit of it. Right? It's because our brain is working overtime and it needs a break too. Okay. And I don't think a lot of us intentionally do this. And I think a lot of us settle for good enough with our personal exercise time or health time. Like a lot of us are like, well, at least I walked while I was doing all those things. Right. And so it's this idea again of like exercise being this add-on in this leftover space, as opposed to like exercising and being present and enjoying nature and like doing that mental relaxation health benefit. Like is all important, okay?

Most of the time, what I see is that people who are achieving and who are calm and feel like really centered and have made time for themselves for exercise and things like that, when they are at doing their health thing, I'm just going to use exercise, but it could be meal prep, it could be whatever. When they are doing their healthy activity, they are fully engaged and present. Okay. They are not doing the multitasking in their brain. And I think where this becomes really important is because this idea of decision fatigue, if we are constantly doing that.

Then by the end of the day, we're just whooped. And then we're like, our brain needs a break, we need a break, and we get this like, I deserve a treat mentality, and all of those things. Okay. So we need to be present in the time that we make. And so if you go through sort of the steps from this month that we've been trying to talk about, it's noticing that.

We are starting new routines in August, not overdoing those routines, not making aspirational routines, not making Pinterest routines, making routines that allow some margin for error, okay, and some white space. Then talked about maybe scheduling us first, okay, creating that place on the calendar for our health.

I think we got to say no too, right? Saying no to stuff. Understanding that when we say yes automatically, we're saying no to something else. Okay. So be okay not doing as much and saying no, or at least not saying yes. Make freeing up that space, putting ourselves on the calendar first. And now this is the part I'm telling you.

I want you to take it one step further, one step deeper. And when you are engaging in that time that you put on the calendar, be present for yourself. All right. So if it is eat one healthy dinner with my family this week, protect that time and be present during that time. All right. The health benefits of being mindful are real. Okay. So this is going to help you be calm. This is going to help make the next decision easier. It's going to create that space to make better decisions, to be more sure of your decisions. Okay. And again, I notice this a lot in my life because I'm not great about leaving these margins for error. So I will push to the limit. Like I'm pretty good about being present when I have scheduled the time. I'm not this like, my dog would like to say hello apparently.

So I'm not great at putting myself on the calendar first. I'm very good about being present when I remind myself to be. But I'm not good at a margin of error at all. So this is something I've been working really hard on in August is this margin of error because what I have noticed is that I'll be like functioning and doing well and like exercising and doing all those things until like one extra thing gets put on the pile and like the whole system crumbles.

Which means I have not left room for life to life. And so that's like leaving that white space, leaving those margins. Okay. So

I used to - and this is my favorite fall thing to do, really - have coffee or tea or whatever outside, just me and the dog, and like listen to the birds and look around. And I've been getting that a little bit. I got in July with like I got that in July by watering the plants. I go out there, I don't have anything with me. I like look at the plants, I look at all the leaves, I like look for stuff to be growing.

I'm trying to be super mindful in that thing first thing in the morning, as opposed to like getting up, getting on your phone, like and starting to like get right in the hustle bustle of the day, taking some time to be mindful in the morning. So I think just being present and being mindful in some of these activities, I don't want you to underestimate the benefits of that. Okay.

And every time I do that, and every time I am more mindful, like if I do something with the kids and I make a point to be super mindful and present, I always enjoy it so much more. And I know they do too. Right. Our nervous system was really not designed to be switched on all the time. All right. This constant planning, constant multitasking, the multiple tabs, the constantly anticipating, like it really does change.

How we sleep, how we make decisions, how we eat, all of those things. How we connect with people. So this is about creating space for your nervous system to get a break as well. All right. And the way that our brain gets to slow down is by being mindful. So I love like a walking meditation, it is amazing. Forest bathing is amazing, like all those things, just being super present. So when you go for that walk, even if it's just five, 10 minutes.

Just be present for that. If you decide it's one meal with your family, that's what we're going to do this week and protect, be present for that. If it's like I'm going to start my day not on my phone, or even if you start on your phone, like I'm going to give myself 10 minutes outside with my tea or my coffee and be present and not be distracted. It is so good for your nervous system and it really does affect much of your health, like for not only the rest of the day, but for like longevity and future, right? Mindfulness and this nervous system regulation is a huge part of that. So I think a lot of us just say, like, I need more time, or sort of get that forward thinking, I'll do this when. And I really don't want you to do that. I want you to go back and listen to the podcast for August, but just this idea of create a schedule that's got some wiggle room.

Don't be afraid to say no to protect that time. Your time, you are important. Schedule yourself first and protect it. Protect that with your life, okay? Because it is important. Your health and your time is important. And then when you're actually like you get all the way there and you're doing the thing, be present. Don't let people distract you from that. Don't get on your phone. Don't be answering emails. Don't solve anyone else's problems.

Take that time for yourself. Okay. If you belong to a gym, I think honestly one of the easiest ways to do this is like go into the sauna. Like I'm not taking my phone in there, right? Like, you kind of can't have your phone in there, right? So just go in there for even five minutes of just being alone and being mindful and present.

Really, my favorite is to just have like coffee or tea outside and be in nature for a minute. Going for a walk, no headphones, just like no phone, pay attention. Leave the house without your phone, see what that does to your nervous system. It's a great experiment. So just be present, okay? So I'm not trying to add something else to your to-do list. And I just wanted to show you kind of how all these episodes flow together. They're not all separate assignments.

Okay, it's all the same assignment. It's about finding space for you, for your health, and then how like some tactical how-to, with some permission to say no to other people, and then just reminding you like the mindfulness is a component that is just as important. Like the walk is important, but being mindful on that walk is also important. Okay. So if any of this resonated with you, we did all of this deeper in the membership.

Next month's going to be great in the membership too. I'd love for you to come check it out in there. But if if these episodes resonated with you for August, this idea of space and creating space, I would love for you to share this with your friend or rate and review the podcast. That would be super helpful so that other people can find it and get the help that they could use too. All right. Otherwise, I'll talk to you next week, guys. Bye.